Look Who's Talking: 2 years old!

So sadly this will be Forest’s final monthly guest post. They started way back when he was 2 months old; my way of using humor as a defense mechanism against the difficult newborn months. I honestly feel like it’s been harder for me to ‘write’ these posts on his behalf as he’s gotten older, simply because his personality, humor and language are so  complex at this point, it’s hard to do him justice. Also now that he’s running around everywhere I don’t have much time (or energy) to contemplate what’s going through that head of his. Well, enough about me! Here is the newly anointed *2 year old* to give you the scoop on life from his viewpoint. 

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Hey folks. I know you’re probably going to fall apart without me every month, but don’t worry- soon enough I’ll break off and start my own spin-off blog. First step: learn my ABCs, second step: conquer the blogosphere. I'm halfway there already. Let’s get this party started, shall we?   

Dislikes: 

1) Naptime. What a drag. Just when the day starts getting interesting my mom extracts me from whatever activity I’m engrossed in and exiles me to my crib for an hour or two. I used to give in like the conditioned sheep she had made me, but now I kick, scream, and throw my snuggies on the floor in protest. Unfortunately the woman is right and it turns out I still need a mid-day snooze- for now. But fat chance I’m gonna be one of those angelic pre-schoolers hanging on to their nap until their 5^th birthday. Get ready mom. The era of napping will end eventually, and sooner rather than later if I have anything to say about it. Muahahahaha.

2) Riding in a stroller.

I much prefer to walk/run to my destination than to be restrained in my stroller.

At the very least, please allow me to pretend I’m driving a sports car around rather than just being boringly carted around the neighborhood.

Conveniently,  a tire busted on my stroller last week. My mom suspects sabotage but I admit to nothing….

3) The time change. Really, my mom has a bigger problem with this than I do. I don’t see what the big problem is with waking up at 5:20 AM. But she insists that I stay in my room until at least 6 so that is a pretty big bummer.  I try to give myself little pep talks to go back to sleep in the wee morning hours, but so far they haven't worked worth a darn.

 (Translation: Turn off light. Go night night. Go to sleep.)

4) When my parents peel my banana or the wrapping off of my string cheese for me. As if I'm incapable of doing these things myself. It's insulting really, and totally justifies the temper tantrum I throw as a result...(though it is fun to watch them try to re-wrap the plastic on my string cheese). Fortunately they are fast learners so these incidents are few and far between. 

Honestly, I’m a pretty happy-go-lucky guy other than these few complaints. I’ve got way more likes than dislikes at this point in my life.

Likes: 

1) Soccer. 

Mainly I use it as a socially acceptable front for my insatiable desire to run wildly across every field I see. 

Looks like I’m stuck with soccer until high school when I can finally join a cross country running team. Those people have got it figured out. 

2) The ocean. 

And I thought swimming pools were awesome! Running into waves and having my parents chase me around a beach is tons more fun than just floating in a pool. 

Especially since once I’m done with body surfing I can relax with a nice sand bucket and shovel for a few minutes until I get my second wind.  

3)Birthdays. Balloons, New Toys, Cake, and a playdate with some of my best buds????  

Birthdays are the bomb dot com. 

4) Trick or treating. 

At first I was like ‘get this monkey suit off of me!’, but I caught on to the premise of trick or treating fairly quickly. Costumes might not be my favorite but collecting M&Ms and Oreos in my pumpkin made the whole charade worth it. Plus I got to stay up past my bedtime AND I went trick or treating with my best pal, Batman (you may have heard of him). 

AND all the houses were ‘spooky houses’ which I loved. My mom has a blog post planned with a more detailed account of the night so I won’t step on her toes by giving too much away. But *spoiler alert*: Halloween is awesome.

5) Grandparents. 

They give you new trains and art supplies for your birthday, plus they give you their constant undivided attention. 

When they're around, there is none of this ‘independent play time’ (IMO: gross parental negligence) that my mom is always shoving down my throat. It feels good to finally be around people who appreciate my brilliance, beauty and unparalleled sense of humor.  

Only 6 more weeks until my next grandparent fix! 

Alright folks, that’s me. I guess this is the end of an era. It’s been real. Later Gators.