Juliet Fern's Name Story

When we were pregnant with Forest we had a smorgasboard of girl names that we loved, whereas our boy names were all perfectly fine but just a little 'meh'. Nothing stood out as a frontrunner until towards the very end, but we didn't fully commit to Forest until after we met our little wildling. We fell in love with the name because of the peaceful feeling it invoked, but he quickly proved he was more rugged wilderness than a fairytale walk in the woods. Either way, he grew into it and we continue to love his name and all that it means to us. 

Flash forward to getting pregnant with a little girl and we had the opposite problem. Boy names would have been a breeze. I could have named a basketball team full of little boys. The challenge would have been narrowing all the names I loved down to just 2 (Elliot Wells would have been the hypothetical winner if you care to know- Jonathan's veto power be damned! Seriously who vetoes Elliot??? Irrelevant at this point, but still...). 

Instead we were looking at a girls list that felt stale and uninspired. Four names eventually made the short list: Fiona, Georgia, Juliet and Jane. Evangeline made the honorable mention spot, but the many different pronunciations sadly took her out of the running for us. She would have been Jane's middle name had we gone that route. 

Fiona has been one of my favorite names since I was a little girl. I first heard it from a Scottish penpal who sent me pictures of the castles and landscapes of exotic Aberdeenshire. Little did I know I'd go on to live in that gorgeous gray city by the sea and birth my first child there. If Forest had been a girl, he would haven no doubt been a little Scottish 'Fiona'. I really thought Juliet would end up a Fiona in the end, but several cracks from my family about calling her 'FiFi' soured me on it (especially since I hadn't even told them her name would be Fiona Fern, surely dooming her to a nickname best reserved for a poodle). 

Georgia was a frontrunner in my mind from the beginning. Firstly, Jonathan's dad is named George so  we had the family claim to it. Unfortunately, because of the family connection, baby girl would have also already had a second cousin with the same first and last name, so Jonathan (and his family) didn't seem too excited by the idea. Still, I loved the southern vibes of Georgia Fern and think Georgia really hits that sweet spot of a recognizable but not overly used classic. Plus, I'm homesick, y'all. A US inspired name would have felt right. 

Another recognizable but not overly used classic that we loved was Jane. Jonathan's top name for Forest was actually Ian, the Scottish form of John. So of course his favorite baby name for a girl was the feminine version of his name as well. I think it's sweet to name little girls for their dads (my own name is my dad's middle), plus if Jon and I were a celebrity couple, Jane would totally be our smoosh name. Ultimately, I didn't like that it was too short to pair with Fern which I was pretty hellbent on putting in the middle spot. Forest didn't think it was fair that her name would be so short and easy to write. Ha! I also thought it'd be a little awkward for our names to rhyme, plus we have a niece named Rayne. Laine, Rayne, and Jane might get a little confusing at family Christmases. 

Last but not least there was Juliet. There was no real significant reason for Juliet to make the list. It's just straight up a pretty name. Romeo and Juliet was a movie I watched probably 1,284 times as a young teenager, but at that time I dreamed of naming a future daughter Verona vs the iconic Juliet. We studied the play extensively in high school English and I read for the part of Juliet. I still have most of her passages memorized (which wasn't hard considering how many times I watched the movie). 

Baby girl's birthday being in July leant some additional legitimacy to choosing Juliet as well. But what sealed the deal was how adamant Forest was that this. was. THE. name. 

I have no idea why, but a few weeks before her birth he started saying we should call her Juliet. He never wavered from that and became more and more convinced as her due date approached. With Jonathan and I being still undecided, it was easy to be convinced by the very assured 5 year old. We tried to explain to him our hesitations- mainly because we already have a Forest who gets plenty of Forrest Gump cracks- to choose another hugely famous character name with a plethora of quotes and jokes just felt like we were asking for it. 

Plus, we told him, naming her Juliet would put a lot of pressure on her to be beautiful, to which he responded 'My sister WILL BE beautiful.'. So far, he's correct on that count! 

Forest had fluctuated back and forth between being really excited and really apprehensive about becoming a big brother. I explained to him the meaning of ambivalence and that I too felt it regarding baby sister's imminent arrival. I did think that letting him choose the name (which was a pretty amazing name for a 5 year old boy to advocate for) would help him to feel more connected with her early on. 

Convinced we had a solid short list, we decided we'd wait until we met her to make up our minds. A full day after meeting her and trying on different names, none of them really felt right. We were leaning towards Juliet and started calling her that just to see if it stuck, but we weren't ready to put it on a birth certificate or anything. I woke up from a middle of the night nap to find a ton of text messages from people saying they loved her name. Huh??? Apparently my mom had posted pictures on facebook of baby 'Juliet'. So you know once something is facebook official, it's pretty much official- no backsies. So therefore, Juliet Fern was officially named. 

As far as Fern- it was my paternal grandmother's name. Some of my earliest memories of Grandma Fern were curling up in her lap reading picture books, learning to water ski with magic socks, and always being greeted with tons of sugar cookies and Mississippi mud waiting for me upon my arrival to their lake house in Missouri. My fondest, warmest, and most magical memories of childhood stem from the haven she and my PawPaw Lee created on the Lake of the Ozarks. 
She was a highly educated working woman, very rare for her generation and blue collar upbringing, and well loved and respected (because she loved and respected well) by everyone who knew her. She treated my friends like family and despite great geographical distances, was a very present and supportive influence in all of her grandchildren's pursuits. A worthy namesake indeed. 

It doesn't hurt that even apart from her, I adore the name Fern. First of all, it speaks to our love of nature, especially woodland settings. Forest's name was literally inspired by the woods of Scotland, which are carpeted in beautiful ferns year round. 
Had we not already had a Forest, perhaps Fern would have made into the first name spot, but I do think a sibling set called Forest and Fern is a bit too on the nose. 

There is also Fern from Charlotte's Web, of course. A classic name from classic children's literature, and one of the first chapter books that Forest and I read together (and reread about 20 times). 

I hope when my children grow up, they remember the safe and comforting feeling of snuggling up to me and reading and I hope it inspires in them the same love affair with literature that my Grandma Fern sparked in me so many years ago. Just like when I hear the name Forest I am instantly transported to the quiet and still woodland trails of Scotland, when I hear Fern, I am 4 years old, safe and warm, on my grandma's lap reading Brown Bear, Brown Bear for the hundredth time. 

I hope my children always have similar touchstones in their life where they find comfort and peace and I hope that they'll appreciate the depth of meaning behind their monikers. Because unlike Juliet from Shakespeare's famous play, I think there is a lot of significance in a name and maybe a Rose (or a Juliet Fern) called by any other name wouldn't smell quite as sweet. 

Juliet 1 month/5 weeks!

In true second child fashion, we are running a bit late on these weekly/monthly posts. Here's just a snapshot of life at 1 month:
Stats: 
Weight: 7 lbs 10 oz (4th percentile- woohoo out of bottom 3rd!)
Length: 20.6 inches (19th percentile)
Head Circumference: (I forget measurement but it was about 7th percentile which was significantly up from below 3rd percentile at birth).
Size: Finally fitting well into newborn clothes from smaller fitting stores (Carter's, Old Navy). Can fit into *some* Old Navy 0-3 month outfits (like she's wearing in her 1 month photos). 

Missing a letter in her name...again, second child problems. 

They are still big on her but don't swallow her. She has outgrown newborn Luvs diapers and is now in Size 1. Thai diapers are huge though! She still doesn't fit into their newborn size. Which is hilarious because Thai babies are not known for being enormous or anything. Luckily we bought a few economy size boxes of Luvs size 1 and 2 to put in our baby shipment. 

Milestones:
-Rolls from tummy to back
-Braces legs to stand if upper body supported. I showed Forest that she could stand and he said 'Yea but you're helping her.' Sibling rivalry starting early! 
-Can lift head and upper torso off the ground during tummy time (though mostly she just lazily lays there and then starts fussing or simply rolls over because she HATES tummy time).

- Smiles:) Smiles a lot after a full meal. Girl loves her milk.

- Cooing and squealing. So nice when they learn to communicate using something other than a wailing cry. 
- Tracks movement with her eyes and turns head to follow a sound or person walking in the room. 

Routine:
She's only a month old so we are still winging it somewhat. We are loosely following Babywise principles and she seems to be doing well on a 3ish hour schedule. So in general our days look little bit like feed, wake/play, nap on a 2.5-3 hour loop. 

She's a better napper than Forest, but her nighttime has completely fallen apart over the past week. She was sleeping AMAZING (6-8 hour stretches every night) until she turned 4 weeks. Now she sleeps anywhere from 3-5 hours during her initial stretch and then is up every 2-3 hours after that until morning. Maybe once a week she's 'sleeping through'(6+ hours), which is better than nothing! 

I'm trying to start her day at 8 which gives me time to dash off to kindergarten drop off and get back in time to feed her. I leave her with our amazing nanny during that time. So on a good day our schedule looks like:

8- Wake up and feed, go down for a nap around 9:30.
11- Feed, nap around 12.
2- Feed (Nanu (our nanny) usually takes this one since I'm picking up Forest and carting him to whatever after school things he's doing), nap around 3.
5- Feed- Nanu takes for a stroller nap while we eat dinner.
8- Feed and *try* to put down for bed. Sometimes she doesn't sleep between about 7-9:30. 
9:30/10- Dream feed or last feed of the day. 

She *was* sleeping 10-5ish but now she's waking at 2ish and 4:30ish. I don't know where we went wrong or how to fix it. Help me, Jesus! 

Likes: A full tummy, walks in the stroller, her soothe & glow seahorse, art cards and staring at book covers. 

Dislikes: She has a love/hate relationship with the swaddle, Paci, and baby-wearing apparatuses. 

She hates any technique touted by "The Baby Whisperer" as guaranteed to soothe your baby (or, you know, possibly make them scream as if their limbs are being ripped off). Also, tummy time is not her favorite. Neither is bath time. So even though there are lots of similarities between my two kiddos, these things are very different between her and Forest (who despite being a grumpy colicky newborn 100% loved baby wearing, tummy time, pacis, swaddling, and bathtime). 

My biggest challenges: Nursing. Its going better with Juliet than it ever did with Forest but I just hate it. And she's not gaining stellar weight so I'm constantly paranoid about how much she's getting and how often. Plus her latch SUCKS (pun intended) which is painful for yours truly. I don't have easy access to an English speaking lactation consultant here in the Burbs of Bangkok but I'm working on improving her latch. I'm not one of those super gung-ho breast feeders with lofty goals of making it to a year. I'd love to make it to 3 months for her second round of shots, but 8 weeks is my main goal. One day at a time. 

Also, sleep deprivation is a challenge. Duh. We are soooooo fortunate to have a great helper. After I bring F to school she usually says 'give me the monitor and go rest.' Yes Ma'am! 

My biggest rewards: Juliet was an early smiler. That's such a reward in itself. One of the best milestones, for sure. 

I also love when she rests her velvety head against my chest and falls asleep. With baby #2 I understand that everything is a phase, and even though the newborn gig is not my favorite, I think 'what I would give to go back and hold Forest this way for just a minute!'. I'm able to soak it in more with Juliet and not stress so much (though I still stress!). 

I also love seeing Forest be a big brother. He's matured a lot over the past 6 months and is just the sweetest little boy. He loves his sister and gushes over how cute she is. 

This morning I reminded him he had tennis after school and he said "But I'll be gone 7 hours!?!?! Baby will miss me too much. She'll be wondering where her big brother is."

Other Observations: Juliet is very alert and awake, just like Forest. In general, she is quiet and calm and just appears to be taking it all in. Her biggest smiles come after a good feed and a good nap. Me too, sister. Me too. 

Juliet 4 weeks!

I cannot believe Juliet is 4 weeks old! It has flown by and dragged on all at the same time. I've said it once and I'll say it a thousand more times- the newborn phase is not my favorite. For the first week, I got it, why people say they just looooove the newborn stage. She was a sleepy little love bug. But around day 10 she *woke up* and was no longer the 'bring her everywhere- she'll just sleep the whole time' sort of babe. She's still pretty awesome, but I think a bit more 'normal/textbook' than a unicorn angel baby. At least she gave us a little grace period! 

One thing is for sure- she's way easier than her spirited big brother was (read his 4 week post here- actually a lot of similarities)  so at least we can keep it in perspective when she's boycotting naps but keeping a fairly good attitude. It's just hard finding a balance. Since she's resisting naps on the go, I'm trying to go ahead and get her into a routine at home and that leads to me feeling pretty isolated in the nursery as I nurse her and try to put her down for naps for HOURS everyday. I miss Forest and time with Jonathan after 'bedtime'. 

Feast or famine with this girl. Wide awake or dead to the world. 

On Saturday, Juliet went down at 7:30 pm (NEVER happens) and slept straight through a dream feed at 9:30 and THEN slept until 5:15 AM and THEN slept until 8:30 AM. And THEN napped from 9:15-11:30. I know she has it in her! And if that 7:30 bedtime thing could happen, I feel like my marriage would be soooo much better. It was awesome to have her asleep in her bassinet while I got to drink tea and watch a show with Jonathan and my dad. That's generally her fussiest period so I was spending 7-10 every evening in a dark room trying to keep her calm and maybe nod off in my arms for 10 minutes at a time. 

I was worried she'd be hard to put down after the 9:30 feed but she basically slept through the entire thing and didn't make a peep when I put her back down. It was glorious! And I feel like I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I think that's what makes baby #2 so much easier- you know it gets easier. You know it's a phase. This week has been her wonkiest week of nighttime sleep, but she still 'slept through' (7-9 hours) 3 nights. So I'll try to keep the nap complaints to a minimum especially since she does seem to throw me one solid nap a day and will usually nap in the stroller if I get desperate. 

(she's such a pretty baby!)

We are working on putting her down in her bassinet 'drowsy but awake' and she'll do it after 30 minutes or so but then only sleep for 20 minutes. Gotta start somewhere. I'm nursing her to sleep for at least one nap a day and doing one nap a day in the stroller. 

She's weighing 6 lbs 15 oz and has outgrown her premie clothes. Newborn clothes are fitting ok, but 0-3 months are still a little baggy. I can't wait until she actually fits into them! We basically only have sleepers and onsies in newborn sizes, but all of her cute outfits start at 0-3 month. I couldn't help myself today! 

Juliet's first bow:)

Juliet's first romper:)

No real new milestones this week, except she's really tracking well with her eyes. You can tell she's starting to see a lot more. She reminds me of Forest in that she is just taking in everything around her all the time. Today she even stopped nursing while Jonathan and I had a conversation. I had such problems nursing Forest because he was so distractible! 

She's also smiling much more. It's still hard to catch on camera because she mostly smiles at me- so when I get the phone out to get a snapshot she stops. 

Edited to Add: By the time I published this post, Juliet's nighttime sleep went to crap- waking every 2-3.5 hours. I have no idea what happened but I think I broke my baby! I'm praying it's just a growth spurt and by the time I write her 5 week post we will be back to big chunky uninterrupted nighttime sleep. Please, sweet Jesus! For now I may try to revert back to a 9:30-10 pm bedtime and try to get that long stretch back until she's a little older. 

Kindergarten!

When Forest was a colicky newborn, I distinctly remember thinking 'Just 5 years until he goes to Kindergarten and I can get my life back...because I am NEVER doing this again.' Then I realized he missed the cutoff by 2 months so it would actually be closer to 6 years before he left the nest. Either way, I had 3 weeks to go until I reached the finish line and BOOM- I started the baby clock all over again. At least this one is a summer baby so will be going to Kindergarten just after her 5th birthday. In all seriousness, the baby phase was never my favorite, but the preschooler phase was. I feel like Forest ended his preschooler phase a bit early since once we moved to Bangkok he started going to PreK 5 days a week for 5.5 hours a day. This year he is attending the same school, but Kindergartners go for 6.5 hours a day. Not too much of a change. 

I also feel like Forest is pretty academically advanced so he's been ready for Kindergarten in that capacity for some time now. I hope that his strong reading and math skills help him to feel confident, since he really struggles socially. His first day of Kinder started off weird. He had a rash on his chest and back for two days prior so we were treating with Benadryl. That meant I had to wake him from a dead sleep and rush him through breakfast and the morning routine in order to take a few snapshots and get to school on time. I wanted to get there a little early so he had time to play with friends and also get there before it got crazy packed on the preK/K playground. No such luck! We got there 5 minutes before the bell and it was a madhouse! Most kids had both parents there for drop off for their first day and it was just a sea of red polo shirts. 

I started chatting with a mom I knew from PreK and Forest ran off to the playground. I thought this was a good sign and hoped he'd found his best friend. A minute later I went to look for him and couldn't find him. I finally spotted him over by the preK area and could tell by his shoulders that he was crying. It broke my heart! I quickly grabbed his hand and he told me he couldn't find Cody (his BFF) and didn't know where I went and he didn't know if he was supposed to sign in for the day or not. 

My little perfectionist has SO MUCH anxiety about every little thing. He wants to know the protocol and hates big crowds and confusion. I quickly explained that his teacher would tell him everything he needed to know and it might take a week to learn the new rules/procedures but that no one expected him to know what to do on the first day. The bell rang and he confidently grabbed his backpack, gave me a quick goodbye hug and went to go into the classroom (like they did in PreK). 

His teacher gently asked him to stand in line behind the girl who got there first and once again, his shoulders slumped and I could see him totally shut down. Yes, he is THAT sensitive. He walked in and the teacher told him to go put his backpack in his cubby...and he just stood there. She gently nudged him toward the cubbies and greeted the next kid. Forest just stood there and the rest of the kids streamed past him following the teacher's instructions. After she pointed him to the cubbies for the third time, he slowly made his way over there. 

Then I looked back and he's standing off in a corner rubbing his eyes and crying. So of course, I started crying! I just wanted to rush in, scoop him in my arms and hold his hand while I pointed out the cubbies and new friends. But all I could do was stand there and watch from the playground window silently urging him to do as instructed. When I left they had gathered for story time on the circle mat and at least he was making his way over and looking at the books on the carpet. Books always cheer him up! But anyway, I had a terrible night with Juliet and was a complete overtired/hormonal/emotional wreck, just anxious to hear how the rest of the day went. 

According to Forest, it went fantastic! He was buzzing with excitement and told me there were no lows the first day, just highs- especially getting to go to the library and read the new pigeon book by Mo Willems. 

I told him he seemed nervous when he went into the classroom and he quickly responded "It's normal to be a little nervous on your first day." He seems like he has an AMAZING teacher- I can tell by the way he describes his day and how he interacts with other kids. "If I don't want someone to chase me on the playground, I can just say 'I don't want to play that game right now' and then they'll stop." He's had issues with being assertive in the past so it sounds like he has a teacher who can model and walk through that process with him, which is exactly what he needed for his Kindergarten year! 

He also needs to know that it's ok to make mistakes. After the first day he said Ms. Whitman told him one thing that he did that was against the rules (he didn't want to say what), but said that "It's ok. It was my first day. No one expects me to know all the rules right away." In preK when he inadvertently broke a rule he'd have a meltdown and say he was just the worst kid ever and couldn't do anything right. He's uber sensitive and slightly dramatic. But clearly showing some positive signs that he's maturing! 

The second morning went much more smoothly. He found his best friend right away and when the bell rang he made sure he was the first one in line to go to class. He didn't even have time to tell his momma goodbye. I stalked him through the window so I'd at least get to wave and blow him a kiss, and when he spotted me he was all smiles and big waves. But his teacher said maybe not to do that anymore in case it causes separation issues. Fair enough!

I'm feeling good about Kindergarten and hopefully his teacher reports that things are going well too. She really seems like a great fit for him. We are praying for a gentle and fun learning environment where he can continue to mature emotionally and socially before the big 1st grade next year. We love you Forest and are so proud of you!

Juliet 3 weeks old!

Juliet tuned 3 weeks old Sunday. The newborn phase such a conundrum. It simultaneously drags on and flies by. My life is a never-ending loop of nursing and trying to figure out the right formula to get this girl to sleep. She's been mostly a superstar at night but is definitely more finicky in the day. It's nearly impossible to keep her up during a nursing session and then I can either use my ninja skills to transfer her from the boob to the bassinet or else she wakes up and will likely remain awake until the next time she nurses. 

Our nanny can occasionally get her to nap in the swing by swaddling her like a mummy and rocking her while doing some sort of Burmese clicking chant. Whatever works! The worst is when I get her to fall asleep and within minutes she poops herself awake. It happens at least once a day! 

She has a witching hour from about 7-9:30 where she is either eating or fussing. The fussing generally escalates into full blown screaming until it's bedtime at which point I nurse her and she passes out within minutes. It's really interrupting my post-Forest bedtime Bachelor in Paradise watching. 

Another challenging thing is she seems to HATE baby-wearing. I kind of expected this to be my secret to parenting two kiddos at once- put her in the wrap or carrier while I attend to Forest, and voila- hands free baby mothering. Plus, wearing her is so much easier than navigating a stroller around Bangkok! She has other ideas and usually screams anytime I put her in the carrier, especially if I put her in the carrier and stop moving for 2 seconds. 

On the brighter side, she's giving us a social smile more often, holding her head up for up to a minute at time, and in general just very strong. Still rolling from tummy to back within seconds of being placed on her stomach and doing the newborn scoot to get all the way off of her activity mat. She started laughing/giggling in her sleep which is pretty adorable. Though she's a super noisy sleeper so I think homegirl might be moving to the nursery this week. 

She's weighing 6 lbs 4 oz. I'm nursing her about every 2.5-3 hours during the day and letting her sleep as long as she wants at night. She's most often giving a 6 hour stretch from 10-4, sometimes she wakes at 5 and sometimes she wakes at 2. Four to seven hours and only one middle of the night waking is pretty spectacular at this age. Knock on all the wood, y'all! 

I'm praying hard that this continues because I'm so much less crazy this time around and I owe it all to about 5 hours of consecutive sleep on a consistent basis. She's off to a great start! Forest didn't start with long stretches until he was about 6 weeks old and by 8 weeks he was sleeping 10-6 most nights. It was glorious. I'm hoping since baby girl has such a head start on her brother that she may reach the 8 hour stretch before 8 weeks, but I'm not complaining either way. 

Juliet 2 weeks old!

Juliet turned 2 weeks on Sunday. She continues to be a sweet and comparatively easy baby, but has definitely woken up a bit and has a fussy period fro about 5 pm- 10 pm most nights, mainly because she simply won't sleep and becomes a tired and overstimulated mess. Plus I think she's having a growth spurt because she nurses very aggressively and frequently in the evenings. 

She continues to be a rock star at night and I've started letting her just sleep as long as she wants, mainly because waking her up to feed is pointless since she conks out within 2 minutes of nursing in the middle of the night. Knock on wood, her longest stretch has been 7 hours (10 pm- 5 am, which I woke her from) and last night she woke on her own around 4:30 and went right back to bed until I woke her at 8. 

I hate waking her at night and from her morning nap (usually pretty decent for now) because I know how squirrelly things get in the afternoon and evening. But I'm following a loose babywise schedule which says feed them every 2.5-3 hours and don't let them nap more than about 2 hours during the day. I have a serious love/hate relationship with babywise but will pretty much do whatever it takes for a good night's sleep, and this seems to be the gentlest way to achieve that goal from the start. 

The stroller seems to be the ace in the hole as far as getting her to take a nap when she's resistant, but in Thailand, afternoons are pretty much the worst time to get out for a walk. It's either scorchingly hot or pouring down rain. 

Tummy time is pretty unsuccessful because she's mastered rolling over. As soon as I place her on her tummy she flips over. So her tummy time is mainly consisting of her laying on someone's chest. 

I bought a baby scale just to keep up with her weight progression. It's slow but she's about 6 lbs 1 oz now, up 3 oz total from her birth weight (she had dropped down to 5 lbs 5 oz at one point). 

She's on the cusp of a social smile. She loves this one Little Critter book cover, and every time she sees it she hones in and one little corner of her mouth turns up. 

Things have definitely gotten more challenging since she's started to 'wake up', and I've also been fighting off mastitis. I've had some tearful moments and feeling frustrated when she fight sleep, especially when it means I have to tend to her for an hour or so and miss out on time with Forest, Jonathan and my family. Unfortunately she's not a big fan of the baby wrap so far so my big plans for just wearing her while I play with Forest have not been working out like I thought! We're going to keep trying though! 

My parents have taken Forest to Koh Samui for a few days before he starts the big Kindergarten next week. I'm so happy for all of them to make some memories together but also emotional that I'm not along for the ride. I miss him already! 

Jaundiced Juliet (and a little bit on how we're adjusting).

One thing that really surprised me regarding the differences between Forest's and Juliet's birth were how unconcerned they seemed in Bangkok about Juliet's size. Granted, she was born 39+2 vs 41 weeks but was still under 6 lbs. The doctor basically said 'she's quite small, her head is very small, but proportional to her weight. Everything checks out and looks normal and healthy.' End of story. 

In Scotland, they were checking Forest's blood sugars, topping him up with high calorie formula every 3 hours, monitoring him in the NICU for 2 days and put him on a 72 hour anti-biotic regimen 'just in case'. 

Kind of surprising since in Scotland, health care is "free" so they are generally slow to intervene, whereas Thailand is a pay out of pocket a-la-carte sort of health care system- so you'd think they'd be trying hard to get us to take extra precautions. 

Same thing with the jaundice issue. In Scotland, they made us stay an extra day to monitor Forest's bilirubin levels. Once they started to decline naturally, they FINALLY discharged us (we were there 4 nights). With Juliet, they discharged us after 2 nights and just asked that we come to the Children's Clinic on Friday to check her bilirubin levels. 

We noticed that she definitely had some jaundice but I didn't think it was as bad as her brother, so figured we'd get a good report. Worst case scenario, I'd have to stay at the hospital with her while she got her light treatment. Her level was 17.6 which given her size and weight loss (5 lb 5 oz down from 5 lb 14 oz birth weight at 5 days), they didn't want to take any chances, so they admitted her to the hospital overnight. 

What shocked me was they kept her in the NICU and said I could visit whenever I wanted but couldn't stay in a room with her. I was totally caught off guard and flabbergasted. I immediately started sobbing and they reassured me saying that Jaundice was not a big deal and very treatable. They did not understand that I wasn't crying about jaundice, I was crying about being separated from my 5 day old. 

They also told me to cease breastfeeding and just pump and save my milk while she was in the hospital, but they'd be feeding her formula for the duration of her stay. Again, in the States/UK it's pretty standard protocol that the mother would stay with her jaundiced baby for the express purpose that she'd need to breast feed frequently to better flush the bilirubin from the liver. (Apparently formula fed babies do tend to beat jaundice quicker than breast fed babies and sometimes breast milk can actually prolong the problem. Who knew?)

So yea, I was just extremely caught off guard. These are the sort of culture shock moments that can really shake you up just because you aren't expecting them at all. Plus hormones, plus sleep deprivation led to a very emotional momma. 

Once we got her situated in the NICU, they were like 'go get some coffee or lunch- we got this!'. So bizarre. I didn't want to leave my baby at all. But she was sleeping and we couldn't hold her except for bottle feeding every 3 hours so we went to lunch and coffee and just bummed around the hospital for several hours, pumping and checking in on our girl every so often. 

The language barrier was so hard. I was trying to ask 'What if she cries? Will you take her out to comfort her?', but they were not understanding the question. Jonathan decided to stay at the same hotel we stayed at pre-delivery for the night and go feed her every 3 hours, which gave me peace of mind about going home to be with Forest (and my breast pump). 

That night her levels had come down to 12.5 (needed to be a 12 for discharge) so we were relieved to know she'd probably have a short hospital stay (people kept telling me stories about their babies having to stay for 5 nights which was not helpful at all!). Sure enough she was discharged the next morning so we scooped up our rosy cheeked girl and took her home. 

It seems like such a small thing now, but trust me, I was a hot mess for those 24 hours. My heart goes out to all the mommas whose babies have extended NICU stays, especially my sister who commuted back and forth to the hospital for 15 weeks visiting her baby boy. I can't imagine balancing a sick baby long-term in the hospital, especially with other children at home. Just that one day of feeling like I couldn't be with both my children was devastating to me. 

We've been so lucky to have my parents here to really help with Forest, plus we have an amazing helper/nanny who has been picking up the slack with house cleaning/cooking/grocery shopping/swaddling babies. 

I call this the Burmese Swaddle. It's both magical and adorable. 

I've been able to really focus on Juliet these past 2 weeks without worrying about much else. 

Still, the newborn phase ain't easy and nursing is so much work! It can feel really isolating to be tethered to a baby constantly while my parents and hubby get to go do fun things with the 5 year old. I think I've been most emotional about just missing my boy. 

For so long, it's been the two of us. With Jonathan's crazy travel schedule, Forest and I just have an incredible bond and I miss him when we don't have time to connect. Forest has adjusted incredibly well, which I also credit to my parents spoiling him with plenty of attention and play. 

They leave about a week after he starts Kindergarten so I hope that school will be another welcome distraction to keep him busy and not feeling jealous of all the time I spend on Juliet. For now, he absolutely loves his baby sister and is smothering her with kisses and cuddles and is just so proud to be a big brother. He also made the final decision on her name so he loves telling people what she's called. 

We were concerned because during my pregnancy he made several comments about wanting to stay an only child and that having another baby was a bad idea. (I heard him mumble under his breath one time: "No one asked me if I wanted a baby. If they had I would have told them it was not a good plan.") But then the other day he was talking about a girl from preK and that now she's the only one without a brother or sister, and he's glad he has a sister because sometimes your mom and dad can't always play with you. Kind of breaks my heart that they aren't closer in age, but since we planned to be one and done it's just how things turned out. We are very happy that God had a different plan and we all love Juliet so very much. 

All in all, things are going smoothly and we are praising God for the mercy he has shown us through this transition.