Jaundiced Juliet (and a little bit on how we're adjusting).

One thing that really surprised me regarding the differences between Forest's and Juliet's birth were how unconcerned they seemed in Bangkok about Juliet's size. Granted, she was born 39+2 vs 41 weeks but was still under 6 lbs. The doctor basically said 'she's quite small, her head is very small, but proportional to her weight. Everything checks out and looks normal and healthy.' End of story. 

In Scotland, they were checking Forest's blood sugars, topping him up with high calorie formula every 3 hours, monitoring him in the NICU for 2 days and put him on a 72 hour anti-biotic regimen 'just in case'. 

Kind of surprising since in Scotland, health care is "free" so they are generally slow to intervene, whereas Thailand is a pay out of pocket a-la-carte sort of health care system- so you'd think they'd be trying hard to get us to take extra precautions. 

Same thing with the jaundice issue. In Scotland, they made us stay an extra day to monitor Forest's bilirubin levels. Once they started to decline naturally, they FINALLY discharged us (we were there 4 nights). With Juliet, they discharged us after 2 nights and just asked that we come to the Children's Clinic on Friday to check her bilirubin levels. 

We noticed that she definitely had some jaundice but I didn't think it was as bad as her brother, so figured we'd get a good report. Worst case scenario, I'd have to stay at the hospital with her while she got her light treatment. Her level was 17.6 which given her size and weight loss (5 lb 5 oz down from 5 lb 14 oz birth weight at 5 days), they didn't want to take any chances, so they admitted her to the hospital overnight. 

What shocked me was they kept her in the NICU and said I could visit whenever I wanted but couldn't stay in a room with her. I was totally caught off guard and flabbergasted. I immediately started sobbing and they reassured me saying that Jaundice was not a big deal and very treatable. They did not understand that I wasn't crying about jaundice, I was crying about being separated from my 5 day old. 

They also told me to cease breastfeeding and just pump and save my milk while she was in the hospital, but they'd be feeding her formula for the duration of her stay. Again, in the States/UK it's pretty standard protocol that the mother would stay with her jaundiced baby for the express purpose that she'd need to breast feed frequently to better flush the bilirubin from the liver. (Apparently formula fed babies do tend to beat jaundice quicker than breast fed babies and sometimes breast milk can actually prolong the problem. Who knew?)

So yea, I was just extremely caught off guard. These are the sort of culture shock moments that can really shake you up just because you aren't expecting them at all. Plus hormones, plus sleep deprivation led to a very emotional momma. 

Once we got her situated in the NICU, they were like 'go get some coffee or lunch- we got this!'. So bizarre. I didn't want to leave my baby at all. But she was sleeping and we couldn't hold her except for bottle feeding every 3 hours so we went to lunch and coffee and just bummed around the hospital for several hours, pumping and checking in on our girl every so often. 

The language barrier was so hard. I was trying to ask 'What if she cries? Will you take her out to comfort her?', but they were not understanding the question. Jonathan decided to stay at the same hotel we stayed at pre-delivery for the night and go feed her every 3 hours, which gave me peace of mind about going home to be with Forest (and my breast pump). 

That night her levels had come down to 12.5 (needed to be a 12 for discharge) so we were relieved to know she'd probably have a short hospital stay (people kept telling me stories about their babies having to stay for 5 nights which was not helpful at all!). Sure enough she was discharged the next morning so we scooped up our rosy cheeked girl and took her home. 

It seems like such a small thing now, but trust me, I was a hot mess for those 24 hours. My heart goes out to all the mommas whose babies have extended NICU stays, especially my sister who commuted back and forth to the hospital for 15 weeks visiting her baby boy. I can't imagine balancing a sick baby long-term in the hospital, especially with other children at home. Just that one day of feeling like I couldn't be with both my children was devastating to me. 

We've been so lucky to have my parents here to really help with Forest, plus we have an amazing helper/nanny who has been picking up the slack with house cleaning/cooking/grocery shopping/swaddling babies. 

I call this the Burmese Swaddle. It's both magical and adorable. 

I've been able to really focus on Juliet these past 2 weeks without worrying about much else. 

Still, the newborn phase ain't easy and nursing is so much work! It can feel really isolating to be tethered to a baby constantly while my parents and hubby get to go do fun things with the 5 year old. I think I've been most emotional about just missing my boy. 

For so long, it's been the two of us. With Jonathan's crazy travel schedule, Forest and I just have an incredible bond and I miss him when we don't have time to connect. Forest has adjusted incredibly well, which I also credit to my parents spoiling him with plenty of attention and play. 

They leave about a week after he starts Kindergarten so I hope that school will be another welcome distraction to keep him busy and not feeling jealous of all the time I spend on Juliet. For now, he absolutely loves his baby sister and is smothering her with kisses and cuddles and is just so proud to be a big brother. He also made the final decision on her name so he loves telling people what she's called. 

We were concerned because during my pregnancy he made several comments about wanting to stay an only child and that having another baby was a bad idea. (I heard him mumble under his breath one time: "No one asked me if I wanted a baby. If they had I would have told them it was not a good plan.") But then the other day he was talking about a girl from preK and that now she's the only one without a brother or sister, and he's glad he has a sister because sometimes your mom and dad can't always play with you. Kind of breaks my heart that they aren't closer in age, but since we planned to be one and done it's just how things turned out. We are very happy that God had a different plan and we all love Juliet so very much. 

All in all, things are going smoothly and we are praising God for the mercy he has shown us through this transition.