I’ve been pretty silent on the whole dog issue since we’ve
started the moving process. When we were moving to Aberdeen, shipping the dogs was
about all I blogged about, and both rascals continued to be a frequent subject my
Scotland blog.
For instance, this is the post I wrote when they were delivered to us in Aberdeen. I still remember the joy I felt at being reunited.
Two years later, when we were being reunited in California, I felt anxious and overwhelmed. What a difference a baby makes.
I remember my friend Talia telling me that when I had a baby I
wouldn’t love Bailey and Samson as much anymore. I argued with her saying that
while of course I would love my baby more, my love for my dogs wouldn’t lessen
at all. Turns out I was wrong. I do actually love my dogs less than I did
before Forest was born.
I often think of them as just one (or two) more things
to take care of on my already full plate. Forest takes most of my love and
attention and energy. What scraps I have left at the end of the day are
reserved for my husband. Therefore, I was relieved when my parents offered to
keep our dogs while we got settled in California.
The original plan was for
them to drive them up to us, but with my grandmother’s passing, that evolved
into flying them here solo. United has a PetSafe program in which you can ship
your pets for about $250-$500 a pop
depending on their size. Unfortunately there was not enough room on the New
Orleans---->San
Francisco flight for both pups so they had to fly separately. My parents sent Samson
off on Monday afternoon and Jonathan picked him up at the airport that night
(about an hour drive without traffic). Bailey followed the next day.
I have to
say, re-incorporating Samson into Forest and I’s daily life was pretty easy. He’s
gentle, calm, quiet, and sleeps 20 hours a day so he’s really more like a
friendly cat than a dog.
Bailey on the other hand is hard work! She’s full of
energy, desperate for attention, mischievously brilliant, and is overcome with
joy anytime someone comes to the door, insisting that she jump all over them no
matter how well she’s been trained to NOT DO THAT. She’s a bit rambunctious and
clumsy so she worries me a bit around Forest.
However, I have to say that she’s
been really well behaved since coming back to us. I have a feeling my mom had both
of them in doggie boot camp. She’s an excellent dog trainer so I definitely
notice a difference in both of their behaviors after being with their Nana for
a month and a half. Hopefully I can keep up the good work despite being really
distracted taking care of a baby.
I know that the juggling act will get easier
as the months go by. I definitely feel like I'm in a better place to care for them now that Forest is 5 months old than when he was a newborn. It doesn't hurt that the weather here is much better for getting out and about with a baby which means the dogs get way more excursions during the week.
And it’s already so sweet to see Forest’s fascination with
the pups. When they left Scotland he was still too young to interact with them
but now he loves to watch them and reaches his hands towards them if they walk
near by.
Samson and Bailey are both a little wary of him for the time being so
they are keeping a carefully measured distance away from him, which is probably
best for now. I’ve been taking them for walks one at a time with Forest in the
Ergo, and plan on running Bailey on the weekends, but that gets so time
consuming! There is a dog park in our neighborhood so I will probably start
driving them up there in the afternoons so they can both stretch their legs at
the same time.
I know that eventually life will balance out and I’ll be able to fulfill their needs again, but for now I just feel so terrible for them! We’ve
even discussed re-homing Bailey because we feel so guilty for not being able to
give her the time and effort she needs and deserves. Any of y’all have any tips
or stories about how this ‘dog-after-baby’ lifestyle works?
This blog post on the subject
really spoke to me. It’s worth a read if you have fur-babies and human babies.
Oh gosh, so sorry and I feel your pain. Our dog was a rescue dog with a horrible history of neglect and abuse when we adopted her. We spent just under a year working with her and getting her over many issues when we became pregnant with our first baby. Although Molly was by this time an amazing family pet, she scratched the baby on the head one night (only through curiosity with her paw). We were heartbroken and made the hardest and worst decision of our lives to return her to the Humane Society. It was heartbreaking. BUT, after 3 days of constantly talking about what had happened and about how far Molly had come, we rushed back to the Humane Society and begged to have her back. It was against their policy to do this, but they relented because of the huge difference we'd made to Molly. It's been over 10 years since that happened and Molly will let all 3 of my kids do anything to her, including jumping on her whilst sleeping when I couldn't get there in time to stop them! Not once has she done anything to harm them and she is truly part of our family. It was the best thing we ever did getting her back again. Sorry, this is really long! Things were different for sure after baby no 1, 2 and even 3, but don't beat yourself up about it. It's only natural you feel bad about not spending so much time with the doggies, but it will be okay and a few months down the road you will realize that everything is fine and everyone will adapt :) But it is so hard having a baby and a dog or two at first. Good luck with everything!
ReplyDeleteThank you for having the guts to actually write down the true words "i love my dog less" I feel it in my heart, but that is a hard thing to admit. It's exactly as you said, all my love and attention goes to my baby and then I try to scrounge enough up for a my husband too.
ReplyDeleteKyros is so much like Bailey. It doesn't help that he is eager for attention and gets between Mirabell and I all the time because he's jealous. Although I do feel lucky that he is a total stone with her, meaning he just plays dead and tries not to move until she's safely out of his area. I think we've made him scared of her as she learned to walk and all because we never wanted him to knock her down or accidentally hurt her.
Now I'm writing a novel! OK, the best part is my conclusion, things have miraculously turned around in the last two weeks. All the sudden, Mirabell is walking up to Kyros to pet him, and he's standing there letting her and enjoying it. she's even learned to throw him a ball and he loves to fetch it (although he brings it back to me) I see the light at the end of the tunnel and KNOW for certain once our babies are kiddos and not babies it will be all love again.
Why don't you hire a dog walker to come by to take Bailey out a few times a week. Someone who understands the breed and can keep up with teaching manners but give her the long walks and exercise she needs. Takes pressure off of you and gives you less guilt. I think you would regret rehoming. Does she go on runs with you when you go alone?
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