The Terrible Twos.

Y’all. I remember thinking when Forest was about 20 months old that the terrible twos were hitting early. But then he actually turned two and morphed into a bipolar moody maniac and I realized that his tantrums pre-2 were cute by comparison. 

I am just about at my wits end and feel like I’m actually a little bit scared of this 2 year old tyrant living in my house and I’m ashamed to say that I try to avoid setting him off and feel like sometimes I’m walking on eggshells as to not wake the beast. Now, I will say that the situation is exacerbated by the fact that he is cutting his 2 year molars and has recently had a virus involving 103+ temps so his fuse is even shorter than normal, but still…GAH! 

And I never know what it will be that sets him off. Like the other day I unzipped his sleep sack in the morning in the same way that I had done every single morning of his life and he lost his head shrieking ‘Put it back on! Put it back on!’.  When I refused to negotiate with the terrorist he persisted, screaming inconsolably for a good 10 minutes and then remained fussy and on edge all morning. Talk about waking up on the wrong side of the crib. Then the next morning I was very delicate about the whole ‘taking off the sleepsack’ situation and he was totally cool with having it removed. Confusing! 

His biggest tantrums come from not being able to have his paci and lambie all the time. 

Again, he has NEVER been able to have these items outside of bedtime and naptime but yet all of a sudden he demands them all day and when I say no he loses his marbles. I have finally ‘compromised’ by letting him have them as long as he stays in his room to play and then he’s generally good about putting them back in the crib when he’s ready to go play somewhere else. I’m hoping that this is just due to him teething and needing a little extra comfort from these items.   

In my mom group at church we recently had a speaker, Nancy Hagan,  talk about the lies we tell ourselves as mothers (You can watch it here…I really recommend it!). One of the biggest lies is that we are ruining our kids when the truth is, even though we can influence our children, we can’t CONTROL them. Amen? 

This really resonated with me and yet the very next day when Forest was melting down over the fact that I cut his apple slices wrong, I thought to myself ‘I ACTUALLY AM ruining him! He is such a whiny brat and it certainly has to be because of my terrible parenting!’ But the Nancy went on to say that even Jesus had moments where he cried out in despair, pleading with God to ‘take this cup from me.’ Not that parenting is comparable to the suffering of crucifixion, but it is a trial, and God is there for us through it. 

It’s ok for us to feel like things are more than we can handle without divine intervention. That’s sort of the point. So I feel like this particular phase is humbling for sure and I am on my knees crying out ‘Help me!!!' Help me find patience and effective discipline. Help me have the wisdom it takes to relate to a 2 year old and their need to test the rules and boundaries. Help me help him make sense of his budding and overwhelming emotions.  Help me to be the parent that this strong willed, wild one needs without breaking his spirit. Help me to keep perspective that my struggles are simple and ordinary while many friends are grappling with similar phases on top of pregnancies, newborns, or seriously ill children. 

I seriously ask myself several times a day: what would Super Nanny do? And truthfully, I think our foundation as parents is pretty strong. We are clear, consistent and predictable. We follow through swiftly with consequences. We place a high priority on adequate sleep, physical activity and nutrition. We pray with Forest and over him several times a day. My hope is that if we stay strong and consistent during this test of wills that is the ‘terrible two’ phase then we will make it to the other side as better parents with a spirited but well behaved child. 

I’ve been at my wits end before with Forest and have lived to tell the tale. And honestly I think these teeth do harbor some blame as well as El Nino which is bringing much needed rain to our area but keeping one very energetic boy cooped up this winter. 

But if you guys have any encouragement or tips for getting out of this traditionally terrible phase alive, please do tell!