Disclaimer: It’s common knowledge that parents of young
children think that poop is a totally acceptable topic of conversation. If you
aren’t interested in knowing my son’s bathroom habits in detail than you
probably won’t enjoy this post. However, much more than guides and how-tos, I
have greatly appreciated reading and hearing about first hand experiences from
other potty-training veterans and felt honor-bound to share ours. So this is a
play by play of our first week of potty training Forest.
We are a little over a
week into the potty training process with Forest and I can cautiously say that
we are over the hump and he is well on his way to being potty trained. For the
past 8 days he has only worn a diaper to sleep, but during the day it has been
all potty, all the time.
This method follows a series of ‘blocks of learning’ that build
off of each other and should take your child from being clueless that they are
peeing/pooping to realizing they are doing it and finally to recognizing
beforehand that they need to do it.
The first block is being able to pee/poop on the potty while naked, whether prompted or self-initiated. Once your child can do that, they can move on to the second block, which is doing the same while being commando with clothes on. The third block is being able to do it in different situations and places while commando and having longer and longer excursions.
This is where we are in the process, but we are about ready to move on to Block Four which is wearing underwear (Glowacki claims
that underwear to a newly potty trained child can feel like a diaper so it’s
important to have a stretch of ‘commando time’ until they are securely potty
trained).
The fifth block is self-initiation in which children will start prompting themselves to use the bathroom. This can take a few weeks to happen. The sixth block is night/nap training. Some people do night/nap training from the get-go but we were not so brave. Plus Forest is in a crib still and wouldn’t be able to get himself to and from the potty without our help so we are waiting until he’s in a toddler bed for this one.
Glowacki states that the optimal window for potty training is between 20-30 months. This is when most kids have the ability to communicate their needs but before they hit some major resistance and individuation milestones than can cause some potty power struggles. We tried this method at 22 months and it was a big flop.
We went all
in for 3 days and Forest was in hysterics anytime he had to go and I had
developed a facial tic from the sheer stress and exhaustion of it all. It was awful.
It was the worst parenting experience ever. It was worse than colic, I swear. I
just thought: certainly he’s not ready. And though the book swears 22 months is
old enough and I’ve had several friends have success at 22 months and even
younger, we decided to hit the reset button.
Fast forward nearly 7 months and we were totally avoiding trying again! But I was worried to get into the danger zone of 30+ months, especially since Forest is already a strong willed child. I was scared about how ‘real’ resistance would look in his personality. Plus with a move coming up in about 2 months I really wanted him to be solid in his skills before hitting a major transitionary period. So we started at 29 months (just in the nick of time), and it was amazing just how different our experience was this time around.
Some other
general things about this method: you need to set aside at least 3-5 days, preferably a week, where you can
really focus on potty training. Clear your schedule and/or get any other
caretakers on board. There is no turning back. Here’s a snapshot of our first week without diapers:
Day 1: (Block One). I told Forest in the morning that I was throwing his diapers away and from now on his pee and poop needed to go in the potty. He seemed to accept this pretty quickly. The first morning he was holding his pee for a while. Finally around 10:30 we got a successful pee on the potty. Then around 11 I put him in his high chair and he had a big pee accident, but the good thing is that he recognized the accident right away (and it was on the tile floor). After that he had no accidents for the remainder of the day! He did awesome. No poop on that first day but that’s normal, especially at they get closer to 2.5 years old and need more privacy.
Day 2: (Block One). He withheld his pee for a long chunk in the morning again but had no accidents. He clearly had to poo but was trying to hold it and getting very upset. Finally I picked him up and brought him to the potty to poo. He cried and tried to stand up but then it started coming out and thankfully landed in the potty. Seeing it in there made him laugh at the ‘muddy potty’ and he enjoyed ‘flushing it to the ocean’. The floodgates opened and he pooped 2 more times that day. He had no accidents the whole day!! He even self initiated twice and started to pee on command (like- hey let’s try to pee before we go for a walk, and he’d actually manage to get some pee out).
Day 3 (Block One/Block Two): He was ready to move from Block 1 to Block 2 but I wanted to take it slow and do it right. We kept him naked in the morning except for a trip to Starbucks.
In the afternoon he was commando under
pants and we did a pretty decent sized trip to Safeway plus a walk around the
neighborhood. All excursions were accident free as well as our time at home. He
was doing awesome!
Day 4: (Block Two). He had on pants all day. He had a friend over for a few hours in the afternoon and still had no incidents. Woohoo!
Day 5 (Block Three): We had a big outing (1.5 hours) planned in the morning for his Little Explorer’s class. I was nervous! But he peed and pooped just before leaving and I brought his potty along for our hike in case of emergency. Luckily one of his best buddies in the class is about 3 weeks ahead of Forest on this potty training journey. He showed Forest how to pee on bushes and Forest immediately copied him so I felt relieved to get a big pee out mid-way through the class.
He made it through just fine with no accidents and stayed accident
free all morning. After his nap he self initiated a pee and poo so I felt
pretty confident about taking him for a celebratory outing to the park. I
almost didn’t even grab an extra set of clothes but I’m glad I did because
about 20 minutes in he started squirming and saying he needed to pee. It seemed
like an emergency so I just brought him over to a bush and he peed but as soon
as his pants were down it was apparent that he had a #2 accident.
I was shocked because he never poops in public and he had just gone at the house! In hindsight he was giving me all the signals but my guard was totally down. I was bummed (and grossed out!) but it was only day 5 and he was still doing really great! I mean 6 days ago he was in diapers and since then he only had 2 misses using the potty. That’s pretty good!
Day 6 (Block Three): I decided to keep him close to home and skip church which would require dropping him off for 2 hours. He had an accident free day once again with two small outings to the park, the gas station and to Safeway. And he used his first public restroom! He was a little scared of the big toilet at first but for an m&m he obliged and used the potty. I’m not above a little incentivizing in tricky situations! We also seemed to reach an agreement on how to get a poop. When I notice he has to poop (walks on tip toes, starts being whiny, and says he wants a night time diaper) I take off his pants, show him the potty and then leave the room. Within 60 seconds he will go poop. Hopefully I will be able to figure out what time of day these are happening because while he seems to be able to hold #1s for a reasonable amount of time, #2s seem to come on strong and there is less warning time/time to get to a potty on an outing. Plus I don’t know how to cater to the ‘take his pants off and leave the room’ thing if we are at a friends house or the grocery store or something.
Day 7 (Block Three): No accidents once again! Things are becoming more routine and he's self initiating much more. I feel like I'm prompting less and he's cooperating more. This was the first day he didn’t cry when I took the night time diaper off. He is going to the potty with little resistance. We went to swim and he peed in the potty at swim class before and after his lesson. Pooping is still difficult as he wants to be completely alone and preferably naked. So currently this is really our only hiccup!
I’m starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel and feel confident that Forest will be fully day trained soon! I think it’s safe to say he is pee-trained for sure. The pooping may take a little more practice before it fades into the fabric of our lives….
In terms of when you can officially say you have a 'Potty Trained Child', Gwolacki jokes that its when you can have 5 consecutive thoughts that don't involve the potty. I'm not quite there yet, but hopefully soon!
I’ll follow up on our
progress next week and also include of few of my general tips for tackling
potty training.
The first block is being able to pee/poop on the potty while naked, whether prompted or self-initiated. Once your child can do that, they can move on to the second block, which is doing the same while being commando with clothes on. The third block is being able to do it in different situations and places while commando and having longer and longer excursions.
The fifth block is self-initiation in which children will start prompting themselves to use the bathroom. This can take a few weeks to happen. The sixth block is night/nap training. Some people do night/nap training from the get-go but we were not so brave. Plus Forest is in a crib still and wouldn’t be able to get himself to and from the potty without our help so we are waiting until he’s in a toddler bed for this one.
Glowacki states that the optimal window for potty training is between 20-30 months. This is when most kids have the ability to communicate their needs but before they hit some major resistance and individuation milestones than can cause some potty power struggles. We tried this method at 22 months and it was a big flop.
Fast forward nearly 7 months and we were totally avoiding trying again! But I was worried to get into the danger zone of 30+ months, especially since Forest is already a strong willed child. I was scared about how ‘real’ resistance would look in his personality. Plus with a move coming up in about 2 months I really wanted him to be solid in his skills before hitting a major transitionary period. So we started at 29 months (just in the nick of time), and it was amazing just how different our experience was this time around.
Day 1: (Block One). I told Forest in the morning that I was throwing his diapers away and from now on his pee and poop needed to go in the potty. He seemed to accept this pretty quickly. The first morning he was holding his pee for a while. Finally around 10:30 we got a successful pee on the potty. Then around 11 I put him in his high chair and he had a big pee accident, but the good thing is that he recognized the accident right away (and it was on the tile floor). After that he had no accidents for the remainder of the day! He did awesome. No poop on that first day but that’s normal, especially at they get closer to 2.5 years old and need more privacy.
Day 2: (Block One). He withheld his pee for a long chunk in the morning again but had no accidents. He clearly had to poo but was trying to hold it and getting very upset. Finally I picked him up and brought him to the potty to poo. He cried and tried to stand up but then it started coming out and thankfully landed in the potty. Seeing it in there made him laugh at the ‘muddy potty’ and he enjoyed ‘flushing it to the ocean’. The floodgates opened and he pooped 2 more times that day. He had no accidents the whole day!! He even self initiated twice and started to pee on command (like- hey let’s try to pee before we go for a walk, and he’d actually manage to get some pee out).
Day 3 (Block One/Block Two): He was ready to move from Block 1 to Block 2 but I wanted to take it slow and do it right. We kept him naked in the morning except for a trip to Starbucks.
Day 4: (Block Two). He had on pants all day. He had a friend over for a few hours in the afternoon and still had no incidents. Woohoo!
Day 5 (Block Three): We had a big outing (1.5 hours) planned in the morning for his Little Explorer’s class. I was nervous! But he peed and pooped just before leaving and I brought his potty along for our hike in case of emergency. Luckily one of his best buddies in the class is about 3 weeks ahead of Forest on this potty training journey. He showed Forest how to pee on bushes and Forest immediately copied him so I felt relieved to get a big pee out mid-way through the class.
 |
| Peeing on bushes was a great bonding experience for these two:) |
I was shocked because he never poops in public and he had just gone at the house! In hindsight he was giving me all the signals but my guard was totally down. I was bummed (and grossed out!) but it was only day 5 and he was still doing really great! I mean 6 days ago he was in diapers and since then he only had 2 misses using the potty. That’s pretty good!
Day 6 (Block Three): I decided to keep him close to home and skip church which would require dropping him off for 2 hours. He had an accident free day once again with two small outings to the park, the gas station and to Safeway. And he used his first public restroom! He was a little scared of the big toilet at first but for an m&m he obliged and used the potty. I’m not above a little incentivizing in tricky situations! We also seemed to reach an agreement on how to get a poop. When I notice he has to poop (walks on tip toes, starts being whiny, and says he wants a night time diaper) I take off his pants, show him the potty and then leave the room. Within 60 seconds he will go poop. Hopefully I will be able to figure out what time of day these are happening because while he seems to be able to hold #1s for a reasonable amount of time, #2s seem to come on strong and there is less warning time/time to get to a potty on an outing. Plus I don’t know how to cater to the ‘take his pants off and leave the room’ thing if we are at a friends house or the grocery store or something.
Day 7 (Block Three): No accidents once again! Things are becoming more routine and he's self initiating much more. I feel like I'm prompting less and he's cooperating more. This was the first day he didn’t cry when I took the night time diaper off. He is going to the potty with little resistance. We went to swim and he peed in the potty at swim class before and after his lesson. Pooping is still difficult as he wants to be completely alone and preferably naked. So currently this is really our only hiccup!
I’m starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel and feel confident that Forest will be fully day trained soon! I think it’s safe to say he is pee-trained for sure. The pooping may take a little more practice before it fades into the fabric of our lives….
In terms of when you can officially say you have a 'Potty Trained Child', Gwolacki jokes that its when you can have 5 consecutive thoughts that don't involve the potty. I'm not quite there yet, but hopefully soon!
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