Another Farewell

Saying goodbye to friends has sadly become commonplace in our lives. It’s the nature of Jonathan’s business for people to come and go in 2/3/4 year cycles. It was especially prevalent in Aberdeen where it seemed like every month we were attending a goodbye party until finally we were attending our own. This past weekend we said our first goodbye in San Ramon as friends Jake, Sara and Baby B leave to set up shop in Pittsburg, PA. 

Sara was the first friend I met in California so this one stings quite a bit, especially because our hubbies also became fast golf buddies over the past few months and her baby girl and Forest are just two months apart. Meeting friends in the Bay Area has been a bit harder, I think because it isn’t inherently a transient town like all of the other places we’ve lived. People are born and raised here and go on to raise their families here. I don’t blame them. It’s an awesome area and we’d gladly stay if we could. But that’s not the nature of the job. 

We heart East Bay, CA!

We know that soon enough we’ll be attending our own goodbye party and understandably, some people don’t want to invest in our friendship when they know we have an expiration date. It’s for this reason that I find myself constantly drawn to people who are in the same boat. I know that they won’t have a guard up when I tell them this assignment is for 2 years and they inversely know that I will be their BFF whether they have 2 years or 2 months left in San Ramon. 

If there is one thing we’ve learned through being essentially nomads is that life is too short not to make fast friends. And the other transient girls I’ve met don’t think I’m a weirdo if I’m constantly texting or inviting them over as soon as we meet. Things moves faster because we understand the value of being in the same place at the same time. 

I’ve made plenty of acquaintances among the NorCal ‘natives’ but I definitely get the sense that these friendships grow more slowly because they’ve got all the time in the world. It’s hard not to countdown or think of our time here as ¼ of the way over. I try my hardest not to dwell on the NEXT assignment or to flinch when I think about how much I miss my old friends and how much I’ll inevitably miss the ones I have here and now. It comes with the territory but oh- how it takes so much emotional energy! Emotional energy that is hard to come by as a new mom, but still I force myself into new friends’ lives and hope they accept my efforts. 

Sara didn’t leave me empty handed as she introduced me to her little clan, most of which have babies near Forest’s age. I find myself falling so easily into this group who know what it’s like to live abroad and to move around frequently. 

I also have joined a local moms group with babies born in Fall/Winter of 2013 which is full of great women who are super patient with Forest’s mischievous antics.  It’s always helpful to have a group of moms at similar points in motherhood so you can vent and normalize and bounce ideas off of each other. 

But again, for such a shy and introverted person, making new friends has never been an easy thing for me to do. This experience of moving so often has definitely shoved me out of my comfort zone. But still, it’s easy to get frustrated and think ‘what’s the point?’ Why go through the effort if I’m just going to have to say goodbye again and start the whole process over? 

I’m doing a new bible study by Beth Moore called Children of the Day. 

 In her first video session she stresses that no one participating came to this study by accident. It was put in our lives at the perfect time. Already we are learning about Paul, Silas, and Timothy’s journey throughout the Ancient world. Paul made the journey after a painful separation from his closest friend, Barnabus. Because of this rift, Paul then goes on to meet Timothy whom he later describes as ‘having no one else like him’ in his life. Beth made one point that struck me right in the heart: The next person you meet might become one of the dearest people in your life. 

I know that in my life, this is always true. I’m constantly meeting people who stretch my heart. I remember standing terrified outside a stranger’s door in Aberdeen. I’d been invited to a girls night by a friend of a friend but had never laid eyes on any of the people attending and vise versa. I went back and forth over my outfit. Whether I should bring wine. If so, red or white? What will my outfit and my wine choice say about me? 

I remember having a mini-panic attack as Jon dropped me off at a strange apartment. I was so nervous. And yet behind that door were some women that I now call my dearest friends. 

In fact one of those women became a friend (Jillian) of a friend (Sara) who lived in San Ramon. A friend who I am sadly saying goodbye to (for now) but who has introduced me to many others for our time in California. 

Sara doesn’t know anyone in Pittsburg/Moonstownship so if any of y’all reading have a friend of a friend in PA, let me know so we can get them introduced! 

It’s exciting to think that some of these budding friendships in California might become some of the most rewarding relationships in my life. I have to believe that and keep putting my heart out there. It’s an extremely vulnerable feeling but I trust that the Lord is putting the right people in my life and I’m praying that He might allow me to be the right person in someone else’s life as well.